i havent posted here in a while yeah. its not because i forgot again but just because i havent felt the want to post. its kind of weird. normally i have some bullshit to spew but not for the past month.

everybody in americas heard the story through people that have no connection to any of us. god i fucking hate the news. completely emotionless bastards talking deadpan about people that mattered completely disappearing. i dont even care if mikes mad at me for sharing the letter. he probably knows because every news outlet ever shared it as a fucking “intriguing, tragic, yet heartfelt story”. suck my dick. they should put in that effort when it comes to actually finding him. both tyler and johnny agree with me that its complete horseshit that they have ZERO leads. its been a little over a month of searching tirelessly how do they have nothing to show for it?

the football team did a way better tribute to him than the world ever could. they did a whole choreographed number with the cheerleaders for their teammate. i dont care if its just because hes won them multiple games it made people cry. even people that didnt know mike personally.

but honestly the person i feel the worst for is mikes mom. first her husband gets murdered now this shit? honestly that just makes me want to beat mike to a fucking pulp ive heard her conversations with my dad and she always sounds like shes on the verge of tears.

but in other news i should be more active here soon. or maybe ill post something to youtube? people are flocking to that web site and it looks interesting. maybe if things get better soon. hopefully if things get better soon.

i remember something mike said to me. when we had already been friends for a while. he told me there was something about me that he envied but that he couldnt say what yet. maybe ill never know. i just wish i could say that that bothered me.

sorry. theres never been a worse time to be a problem

i do want to mention one last thing before i shut the fuck up. one day i dont remember when but i woke up with spots all over my body. they kind of looked like cigarette burns or open sores but they didnt hurt when i touched them. it just felt like i had raisins glued to my skin. theyre still there as im typing this. yes we went to the doctor but they couldnt figure out what was wrong and said just let them heal. just as long as it didnt hurt they didnt care and so neither did i. ill post an update if it gets worse or better.